Restraint

I was nice at shakespeare today.
But that just increases my bad mood.
Eco is incredibly retarded. They're being really ridiculous and I can tell he's like *okay nigel. 1...2...3....*
I haven't unpacked at all.
I have so much homework.
I have chinese dance group this afternoon and I'm screwed.
I need to study for tests this week...
I refuse to get another 6 fcking b.
I want to go shopping.
I want to not have to sleep.
I haven't been sleeping as much these few days.
I have a choice of possibly going to Japan HK and mainland in term 3 holidays
or I can go to mainland and possibly HK over christmas.
. . .
Or I can not go anywhere.
This is so lame.
I have so much fcking homework.
Lame physics, maths, history and english...
what other subject do I take
oh
eco and french...
LAME
I don't like my room.
Tis lame.
Oh
I have to go.
Lame nigel.
youre a bum.

Tata,

E
x

Upbeat

'Well the 'Botox for Beginners' is done. Now it's a little scary, but mostly upbeat. Now I'm on 'What Your Gyno Won't Tell You,' which is also pretty scary, but, you know, upbeat. I finished my research on deadly pedicures, about the woman who contracted that fungus from unsterilised tools. It's a terrible story. Although, surprisingly... upbeat.'

So since I'm not in a particularly bad mood I thought I'd write something which is you know, pretty scary... but surprisingly, upbeat.
. . .
I actually don't know much to talk about.
I haven't packed.
Oh, I've packed one box thing not that big of jeans and a couple jackets but... its about..... 1/25 of my stuff...
And we're moving tomorrow...
And I have dance tongiht...
And homework...
And I have eco trip tomorrow...
I might get starbucks I might not.. depend what I feel like hahahaaah
dammit. I really should pack or something...
ohwell.
Skins is more important.
hahahahaaah
oh.
and im not that mean am i?
Kim?
Steph?
I wasn't that bad at shakespeare today was I?
I tried to tone it down...
>.>

Tata,

E
x

Life

Dr Bai said something very wise yesterday, apparently from a friend in Britain.
Life is a bitch. Life is a shit sandwich. The more of it you bite, the worse it gets.
I thought it was quite appropriate.

Sometimes I feel like the world is hating on me and it's all I can do to pretend that my eyes are dry, my throat is functioning, and that sonofabtch that dwells in my chest is not dancing around the bonfire.
It's all I can do to smile with my eyes, shout even louder and stay as still as I can so as not to spread the flames.

Sometimes I feel like I'm meant to fly. Like if I spread my wings and take to the sky, I would be home. But there's something holding me back. As hard as I try to lift off the ground my feet are stuck so that I'm being stretched so thin I can see the well behind my eyes the glitch in my throat and the anarchy within my body.
I fall.

Maybe if I empty out the wells and spew out the glitch and let out the fire
I'll be light enough to lift off the ground.
But I can't risk it.
Because the weight would always be there.
Without the wells and the glitch and the fire and the monster I wouldn't be able to support it.
I'd fall
And never get back up.

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